Personal Sharing of me and my momma and daddy and a bit of my husband.

Personal and Private. 

This post is private. 

I'm sharing a bit of myself in open transparency.  But with a healed and understanding heart. My first love is Yeshua. 

I live and move because of Him. I am still a work in progress, probably even when I get Home. That is a comfort to me. 

Every morning after I wake up...this morning too,

I inspect my home.  I walk around and I look at every detail. 

I've done this for years and years. 

It's because I'm a dedicated Homekeeper.

I realized today...I'm just like my momma. And scenes of memories came across my mind...of my momma doing this too.

I realized how hard she worked at keeping things neat, tidy, clean, pretty, working, usable, accessible, comfortable, inviting...no matter where we lived, as I was growing up.

My dad never helped her out. 

I remember that.  Infact, I remember she served him, welcomed him home from work. And she treated him very special. 

I remember too how protective he was of her as well. 

And what momma says, goes. 

In order for her to hold him in high regard like that, must mean...she felt his love for her very deeply and felt secure in it for years. 

He wasn't always good to her though. 

...he wasn't nice or kind at early back, at all.  He was abusive. My brothers and I were little. We saw him hit her and pull her hair. We'd hide behind a couch or chair, huddled together. 

It was Before she got sick.

When I was around 10. I being the oldest. Cody 8. Joshua 2 or 3.

 She got very sick with Cushing and autoimmunes, brain tumor and such. She wasn't supposed to live at all.

But I remember her still loving him through it all. Her whole life devoted to him. 

I remember a big change in my daddy too. He became a gentle man, kind, soft, hard working dedicated. 

She stay with him through so much since she was 14...

She knew something others did not know. 

And all her life...she loved him and never stopped. 

She loved him when he was in a terrible car accident, he had much brain truma.  It changed him. He stopped being kind, loving, devoted. I was around 12-13 then.

I saw her work 3 jobs and still walk the home, inspecting...cleaning hard and good. Taking care of him and us.

  When I was 15 though...my dad changed even worse.  

He got worse from the wreck. More and more. His personality was not good, kind, dedicated anymore. Love seemed to be less and less too, for all of us. 

Long, horrible story short...from that point...

They got divorced.  He divorced her. 

She never stopped loving him...never stopped saying the good things about him. All the way to her passing on at 45 years old. 

I admired her dedication. 

I remember all the years then too, all the way to before she passed. She kept house.  No matter what or where was home. 

Neat, tidy, clean, bug free, mouse free. Everything in its place.

 

I married a man with traits like my dad.  I became like my mother in many ways. 

Dedicated to him. Taking care of him. And keeping and always inspecting my home.  

Day, has grown up alot. Especially when I got very sick and then when I died in the motorcycle wreck and a couple other times. 

And progressively chronically ill since. He changed then a whole lot toward me. And pretty much stayed consistent in devotion, and caring for me from his heart. Loving me. And showing me love, kindness and care. In a genuine way. Not self serving or self centered like he was before. 

I stay dedicated through whole lot of things in our marriage. Vowing to God through it all.  Relying on Yeshua to be "my husband" when Day wasn't. 

Everyone that knew him, outside of his own family...felt angry toward him, for many years. 

But I knew something more about him, others didn't know....just like my momma with my daddy. 

I remember too my momma was a praying woman. I saw her often praying on her knees. In her bedroom...wherever we lived. 

I learned from her to go to God. To pray.

I don't want any of you to think my husband is a bad person anymore or at all.  He isn't.  He hasn't been for about 10ish years. Before the motorcycle wreck, I was getting very ill. 

God dosen't waste anything.  He desires to heal and make things out for good. Day has a story of his own too.  A brokeness, and wounds from being raised by his mom. He has had a tough time healing through the years. He still doesn't like for me to bring her up much about anything at all. He always says to me, "will you please change the subject."

She caused alot of pain in his and in our marriage.  Before and during. 

But Abba caused us to move far enough from his childhood home and the area of trauma memories...so we could heal as a family. And we did.  Enough so...that we now live back where we left from. Peacefully and joyfully.  Making new and good and joyful memories. 

Even in a camper...I am my momma. 

In many ways.  I got all the good parts. And honestly I can't think of anything bad to say about.  Maybe a few memories. But millions of good ones. 

I sure wished I could have been a better daughter to her.  More involved. More attentive. More everything filled up with my healed self that I am now, than more broken self I once was. 

But I didn't keep myself from her. She didn't keep herself from me. Others did that. My dad...the bad family I had to live with for 4 years from age 15 to 19. And Day's mom all the rest of those years...until my momma passed on. I've been without my momma for 24 years on March 31st of this year 2024.

But I've seen her alot more in realms of Glory than I have since before she passed. 

And I know some really great things of her and for me that are waiting for me. 

I'm so excited about these things and the expectations of things yet to see and experience forever. 

My momma is whole. I'll be whole. Together we will share in Joys forever. I used to feel her presence near me pretty heavy at times...when I'm really sick and at times, wondering is it my time  to go Home at those times.

My momma comes to me. And I feel her, sense her. 

I will get angel assistance though and pull through. 

Because I came back here from that motorcycle wreck...to tidying up and inspect what I'm doing here, not for my home...but for my husband. 

Abba added some good things inbetween. 

I sometimes worry for my husband.  He isn't a very clean person in the home. I tend in always cleaning up after him, most all the time. I fuss.  But at least I'm here still to clean up and fuss. 

The part I feel sorry for him about is...who's going to keep things tidy and clean and take care of him? 

And I'll be embarrassed for him, if people think He lives untidy or nasty. 

I hope he marries a women who will help him and clean and tidy up. I hope she is a better person than I am, inside and out.

I hope she adores him. Isn't broken so much inside herself, that she can't enjoy life with him, in his interests. And that he absolutely adores her. That they laugh and play well together. Love each other in passion in every sense. 

That he considers her emotions, feelings, and all that concerns her. 

That they love Abba with a deep onenesss in spirit and truth. 

I've always prayed this for him and I've been praying for his future wife since I first got sick.  

Life hurts...we all have stories.  Hopefully many of the stories are testimonies for you. 

Mine are full of them. 

And everyone of them are Abba right in it all. 

I can't imagine myself ever loving any other man, other than Day. And I would have never remarried ever...if we didn't make it in our journey together as husband and wife. I vowed that even before I ever met him. I'd never divorce. 

And if He divorced me, I'd never remarry. 

But Abba put us together for better or worse. 

And I pretty much took my vows literally. 

Even when it felt like the end of the line many times...

Abba, kept drawing that line out further...straight to His Own heart. 

I was thinking this morning, how sorry I'd be for Day, when Abba calls me home. I know it's not yet. And I'm glad about that right now. I've prayed over it and I pray for Day all the time. 

I try not to feel too much at home here on this earth. 

I remind myself of all Abba has shown me and told me. 

But when it comes to my husband...I want to linger a bit longer. To take care of him, tidy him, and inspect...all that I can and could do for him while I still can.  

I pray I've blessed Abba's heart with my life as a wife. 

And a mom and as a memaw...even as a sister to my 2 brothers.

I wished I could see my brothers more. I know Cody would like that...but my littlest brother, Joshua...he hasn't healed of anything and has no sense of family unity. Except with his daughter only. He is how he has chosen to survive. 

I often pray for his healing too. 

Well, I thought I'd share something quit personal...in hope that I might be an encouragement and maybe bless you a tiny bit.

We have got to purposely choose what we can let go of and what we can give life into, while we yet still have today...even in resting. I love you all, Kim 

I wrote this June 4, 2024. I put it on Facebook. Under profile, Kim Wenrich. I'm putting here, because it's worth keeping. 

Ps I'll fix errors, spelling, autocorrect later...my furkids want to go outside. Lol.